Sign of the Elephant

I’ve almost finished reading "The Dark Tower" by Stephen King and I am struck by the number of signs that this 7’Th novel (and last of the series) contains that pertain to my own journey through life. One in particular concerns his take on the elephant in the room. We’ve all heard the story but I’ve never seen it explained the way he does and for me personally, he hit the nail on the head.

He states (I paraphrase) that when you grow up with an elephant in the room you never see it as different or wrong, rather you learn to ignore it as those around you do. It simply doesn’t exist for you other than a blank space in your consciousness and most of us will go to our graves never having seen it for what it is. Rare is the child who sees it, recognizes it for what it is and overcomes their denial of the monster that they grew up with. I say monster because to call it an elephant is to belittle the evil that this image contains and let there be no doubt that it is an evil creature.

I am one of those children who grew up with a monster in the house until my mother, at great personal sacrifice, removed us when I was four years old. I loved that monster back then and in some ways still do. He was never a monster to me until I unraveled the lies and false memories that served to hide his selfishness and sick appetites. It took me nearly 40 years to do it but it was worth every minute of that time to finally see the truth and to recognize that elephant for the monster it truly was.

The hardest thing I’ve ever done was acknowledging that part of that monster lived in my own heart and needed to be removed. I was never motivated to repeat the evil deeds that this monster had perpetrated upon his family and for that I am grateful. But the selfish nature of this beast was in my heart. It affected my life in many negative ways until that two edged sword of truth came into my hands on my journey towards self-awareness. At first I wielded it carelessly towards those who denied the monster in their midst and it served only to damage my relationships with them even further and for that I am truly sorry. For the gift of this weapon of truth was not meant for them, it was meant for me. It took everything I had to turn this weapon to its proper use and slay the selfish monster in my heart. The bleeding has finally stopped but not the need to be ever vigilant lest it return to grow like a cancer and once again bring darkness into my life.

The child within me is full of light and grace now and his tears no longer fall upon my path. I am born anew, open minded and free to enjoy what time I have left in this wonderful life I have been given. Magic has returned to my heart. Deprived no longer, the child within smiles a secret smile of one well pleased with what has come about. There are no words for the gift I have been given and it is ironic that the very monster that gave life to my dark half planted the seeds of this self-knowledge. For that I am humbly grateful.

Thank you Susan, for helping me to find the proper target of my anger and opening my eyes to the truth.

I say thankee-sai to Stephen King, for the inspiration to articulate my thoughts.

And most of all I thank my Mother, for removing me from the monster’s lair and giving me a chance to remember the truth.

Some people collect bells. Others collect owls. My mother collects elephants. It’s a sign.

Signs of "Made in China"

Dried apples preserved with a cancer-causing chemical. Frozen catfish laden with banned antibiotics. Scallops and sardines coated with putrefying bacteria. Mushrooms laced with illegal pesticides.
These were among the 107 food imports from China the Food and Drug Administration detained at U.S. ports just last month, agency documents reveal, along with more than 1,000 shipments of tainted Chinese dietary supplements, toxic Chinese cosmetics and counterfeit Chinese medicines.

Putrefying bacteria? Yum, tasty! Bring it on! And they're working on importing chickens next? I can hardly wait!

Baby You Can Sign My Car

The WBC at God Hates Fags has decided to picket Jerry Falwell's funeral and I have to say, Fred Phelps is finally doing something that I approve of. Considering how much hate Jerry has brought to this country it seems too good to be true that Fred and his bastions of gay hating homophobes will be providing the entertainment. Makes me wish I had a television to watch it unfold but instead of getting one, I think I'll just drive over to my friends house in Lakeport and enjoy it there.

I tell you, between this and Comey's testimony yesterday, I couldn't be happier. The signs are getting better all the time.

Signs of Justice

“For anyone who believes the death penalty is being carried out appropriately in this country, and anyone who believes that prosecutors and government witnesses can always be relied on to pursue the truth, this case is a wake-up call,” said Peter Neufeld, Co-Director of the Innocence Project. “Three separate times, an innocent man was sentenced to die because of the actions of an unethical prosecutor and a fraudulent analyst.”

I do not believe in the death penalty. I've always said that it would cost less to keep them in prison for life with no chance of parole. The Innocence Project gives us another valid reason to eliminate the death penalty. I've seen how the justice system works (up close and personal) and these folks are only scratching the surface of what's wrong with it. Nothing is perfect, especially a system run by human beings.

Here Comes the Sign

You've got to love the American Family Association. They've come out with a list of sexual orientations that they say will be covered by the new hate crimes bill that is under consideration in congress, a bill they oppose. This is a CHRISTIAN organization mind you. It's pretty jarring to look at this list with "American Family Association" on the top of the page. It also has a bunch of neat words that I've never seen before. The things you learn on the internet!

By the way, I didn't know that masturbation was a sexual orientation. I thought it was just something you did to kill time while you were waiting to hook up with whom/whatever you're looking to hook up with. Silly me.